


oh no (i think i'm catching feelings and i don't know)

by ryneisaterriblefan



Series: happy now? [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, And like, Angst, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Hopeful Ending, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Like, M/M, POV Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, excessive use of brackets, idk - Freeform, idk anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-07 18:53:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19475236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryneisaterriblefan/pseuds/ryneisaterriblefan
Summary: If you love two people, who do you choose?





	oh no (i think i'm catching feelings and i don't know)

**Author's Note:**

> ok so. i just. just like. i wrote this in a book and then used voice to text but then the names got mixed up and like. omg
> 
> i have a headache ugh also this isnt beta read obviously and like if you find anything wrong or anything frre free to leave constructive criticism or just pointing out the mistakes i made because im too lazy and if i read this again ill end up just. choking myself to death.
> 
> also please tell me if i need to add more tags ty ilysm

With all that's been going on, Tobio supposes that it isn't unusual for him to fall in love with Tsukishima. People have always said he's too distant too obsessed with volleyball to love anyone, but he has. He’s loved and it’s hurt so much.

The first person he's ever really had a crush on is Oikawa. His senpai was terrible to him, but he still had this nagging feeling that he really had a crush on him. And Iwaizumi’s definitely noticed, judging from the pitying glances the former third-year seemed to send him.

From then onwards, it was a roller coaster. In his second year he found that he was in love with Kunimi, and third year it was a boy in his class who came to watch his matches.

Then it was Sugawara (Daichi and Suga had figured it out and Tobio told them he’d get over it soon) and then Noya (horrifyingly), and then finally Hinata. Of course. Who else?

The crush on Hinata had lasted longer than he expected, surpassing their years of high school, and it haunts him until his last year of university. (He's not sure he likes it.)

And then there's Tsukishima. He's the only one Tobio doesn't automatically associate with volleyball anymore.

But then—he's comfortable now. They live together and Hinata never really talks to him anymore. Both Tsukishima and Tobio graduate and then they're free with their lives.

Tobio thinks he can finally be happy.

(He isn't.)

It's after the fight when both of them had been high strung and had spat insults at each other. It's the next morning and Tobio’s just pressed an apology kiss to Tsukishima’s lips.

The bell rings.

‘Delivery?’

A shake of the head.

Tsukishima goes to get it and Tobio curls up on the couch, waiting for him to come back.

What he doesn't expect is for Tsukishima to come back with Yamaguchi in tow. Tobio sits up, taking in the sight of his former teammate. He hasn’t changed all that much actually—he’s grown maybe a bit taller, and his hair’s pulled back in a ponytail and his freckles are still there.

‘Kageyama-kun,’ Yamaguchi greets him nervously, and Tobio doesn’t do more than nod his head in response. (What more can he do anyways?)

Yamaguchi is here, which means which means that Tsukishima won't want him anymore. It means he's going to want to him to move out, to not see him anymore, because he’s just a replacement, a one night stand which had evolved into a sort of friendship.

‘Kageyama-kun?’

‘King.’

Toby startles. They're both staring at him and Tobio scrambles to get up and out of the house. ‘Call me when you've talked,’ he manages. They nod and Toby is gone.

(At least he remembered to take his wallet and keys.)

He doesn't know where he's going. It's not like he has anywhere to go, and by chance he ends up back at his and Hinata’s apartment.

Tobio doesn't know what he's doing, but he needs someone and he knocks. He doesn't expect anyone to open it, but—

The door creaks open. Hinata peeks out, eyes red and hair literally drooping.

And hell he knows that he's moved on now, he has a hopeless crush on Tsukishima, but he can't help the pang in his chest when Hinata looks so hopeless.

‘Can I come in?’

Hinata holds the door open wordlessly, and Tobio steps inside and—almost takes a step back.

The room is trashed. There're clothes strewn on around, along with books and torn pages, crumpled and scattered on the floor. Everything is ruined.

‘You came at a bad time,’ Hinata lets out a watery laugh, ‘I was just going to clean up.’

Tobio doesn't say anything, but just looks at Hinata, who looks more tired than he's ever seen him. His hair doesn’t shine as bright as it used to, and Tobio thinks he sees bags forming under Hinata’s normally lively eyes.

‘I'll help,’ Tobio says, and Hinata looks surprised, but Tobio’s already folding the clothes on the floor and Hinata disappears into the bathroom.

He's finished folding half of them when he stumbles on broken glass and a quick swipe away of clothes reveals a framed picture of him and Hinata, holding a trophy—taken right after they’d won Nationals.

Tobio picks it up and he doesn't even know he's crying until his eyes are blurring and something wet and warm falls onto his hand.

‘Yamayama-kun,’ a voice says worriedly, and Tobio startles and tries to blink away the tears.

‘I'm fine,’ he says quickly, but his hands are shaking and he has to set the frame down before he drops it.

‘You're hurt,’ Hinata says quietly, standing up and pulling him by the wrist. ‘Come on.’

Tobio follows. (When has he not?)

They get in the bathroom and Hinata makes Tobio sit on the toilet before bringing out the first aid kid they keep under the sink counter.

Tobio hadn’t even noticed the cuts on his fingers. He looks at Hinata while he's being bandaged—Hinata’s too quiet, too withdrawn, and it’s like when the sun goes behind the clouds.

(Tobio fears it won't come out again.)

‘Hinata,’ he says quietly as they're walking back, ‘why?’

And then Hinata freezes, turning to look back at him and Tobio can't decide what the look on his face is, but he looks so _small_ and _lost_ , and Tobio is reminded of the time they first lost to Aoba Johsai. It’s like that, but it’s so, so much worse. Back then, Hinata still had hope. He still had a light in his eyes that said he was going to fight, and he wasn’t going to give up, no matter what.

But now—

now he looks helpless and defeated. Like all the life has drained out of him.

Tobio hugs him.

Hinata stiffens immediately, which is expected, but then he relaxes, his smaller arms coming up to wrap around Tobio’s waist.

Tobio gets a whiff of his shampoo, and his first thought is that it's so different from Tsukishima’s. He rubs Hinata’s head slowly, threading his fingers through the orange strands of hair. And then they stay like that—for how long Tobio doesn't know—until his legs are aching, and suddenly Hinata’s going limp.

Tobio shakes him, but Hinata is fast asleep from weariness and Tobio grunts as he carries Hinata to his bed and tucks him under the covers. He hesitates, but presses a kiss to Hinata’s cheek before going about cleaning the rest of the apartment.

Half an hour later, when Tobio is almost done, a text from Tsukishima appears on the phone.

**[Tsukishima]** _We're done_

**[Kageyama]** _Verdict?_

**[Tsukishima]** _Not sure he fell asleep_

**[Kageyama]** _Ok_

He leaves a note for Hinata after cooking some food for him to eat when he wakes up. T _ext me when you're alive, dumbass._

Tsukishima doesn't notice at first when Tobio arrives and that's because—

that's because he's curled up on their bed with Yamaguchi and Tobio turns away after he sees Tsukishima kiss Yamaguchi’s cheek.

He makes some noise in the kitchen to signify that he's home and a few minutes later Tsukishima’s walking into the kitchen and hugging him from behind.

When Tobio tenses, it doesn't go unnoticed.

‘What's wrong?’

‘You're with Yamaguchi now, you shouldn't be doing this,’ Tobio replies tensely, not wanting to struggle, but it hurts so much to stay like this and half Tsukishima ripped away from him.

(He remembers a time when he could barely stand the blond being in his presence.)

‘No I’m not,’ Tsukishima mumbles, holding Tobio tighter.

‘You said you talked,’ Tobio rebuts, but he stops struggling (not that he was struggling much in the first place).

‘We did. Doesn't mean everything is magically fixed again.’

‘I saw you kiss him.’

The arms around him tighten.

‘Just because I had feelings for Yamaguchi doesn't mean I'm going to forget you,’ Tsukishima says softly, and his voice is so painfull honest that Tobio has to blink away tears before he speaks again.

There's a silence, and then, ‘Are we dating?’

The words are bold, blunt and confident—everything Toby is not at the moment.

Tsukishima considers then huffs out a laugh, ‘I guess we are.’

And finally— _finally_ —Tobio dares to turn around, and then he says, tries to say, with the least emotion possible—‘You like Yamaguchi.’

‘Tobio,’ Tsukishima says, and Tobio doesn’t really respond. He leans back against the counter and crosses his arms. (He’s always liked being tall, but now for once he wishes he could curl up into a ball like Hinata and hide from Tsukishima for the rest of his life.)

‘Look at me,’ Tsukishima says again, and then Tobio does. He doesn’t know what the blond intends by it, but—

His eyes will never not be mesmerizing.

‘I,’ Tsukishima falters, gaze sliding away from Tobio’s, but returning with a ferocity Tobio thinks he’s only seen once before (his cry of victory during their first match with Shiratorizawa still rings in his ears) and then he says, voice soft, ‘I have feelings for you too.’

‘No,’ Tobio hears himself say, ‘You—‘

‘I love you too, Tobio,’ Tsukishima says, and then kisses him, once, hard. ‘I love you so much, and I thought Yamaguchi was the only one for me but. But he isn’t.’

Tobio thinks he’s stopped breathing, and Tsukishima clutches him, holds him like he’s the last breath of air, and he can’t do anything as Tsukishima’s lips move across his own.

‘I thought—when I called Yamaguchi, that it would be fine. But when he got here, I just—,’ Tsukishima draws away, looks Tobio in the eyes, ‘—you just looked so heartbroken and small and I never wanted you to ever feel like that again.’

‘I love you, Tobio,’ Tsukishima says, for one final, definite time.

(And Tobio doesn’t argue. After all, maybe, just this one time, he can indulge himself.)

Things don’t work out magically. (They never do.)

Things don’t return to normal between Tobio and Hinata, but they’re trying, so that’s what counts. (They meet up every week to play volleyball or have lunch together. They talk more often too. Hinata tells him he’s sorry for lashing out, and Tobio apologizes for being mean. He’s still in love with Hinata, but it’s somehow easier to bear now.)

Things don’t magically work out between Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, but they’re at least talking again. (Tobio thought he’d be jealous, but apparently after being reassured a thousand times by his boyfriend—Tobio giggles like a maniac in his head when he thinks that—he’s just happy to see Tsukishima laughing like he used to in high school. But like, softer. His laughs are more genuine and Tobio thinks he can stare at Tsukishima forever.)

Hinata and Yamaguchi have been keeping contact with each other, so when they meet it’s a flurry of jokes and hugs and Hinata’s sending Tobio one of his most beautiful smiles. Tsukishima snickers and elbows him. Tobio punches his arm.

And, things don’t naturally work out.

Tsukishima and Tobio fight more often than not. Yamaguchi’s moved in with Hinata and sometimes it pains both their hearts to see them laughing together.

Things don’t naturally work out, but all of them have lost each other once, and they’re not willing to let that happen again. Tobio startles the first time Hinata laughs at something he says. (It’s been so long since Hinata laughed like that.)

Tsukishima apologizes when they fight by cuddling Tobio and Tobio learns how to make strawberry shortcake for when he’s fucked up.

(His first time was a disaster, though. Tsukishima had walked in to see Tobio staring at the oven with bewilderment and laughed so hard Tobio forgot to be angry for a moment. He got his revenge by throwing an egg at him.)

The four of them try to meet up every week, whether it’s for eating or just spending time together. Tobio tries asking Hinata about what had caused the mes when he went to visit, but Hinata avoids it, so Tobio doesn’t push. He never really finds out.

Things aren’t perfect. But when Tsukishima—Kei, Tobio calls him now—presses a kiss to Tobio’s cheek and Hinata jokingly yells that they’re gross and they laugh with Yamaguchi, Tobio thinks it’s pretty damn near.

**Author's Note:**

> so! thanks for sticking around haha my tumblrs ryneisaterriblefan if you wanna visit or yell at me or whatever lol


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